he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
