Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
