Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
