i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
