There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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