My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
