note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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