just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
