How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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