I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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