just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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