It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
