You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize