Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
