Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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