My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
