She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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