CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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