he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
