How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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