Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
