4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
