Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
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I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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