ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
