Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
