Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you will always have a special place in my vag
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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