He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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