Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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