who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
