Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
