Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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