I wish my penis had an off switch
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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