i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize