He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
