I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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