I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
