Whod you bang
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
