guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this just has baby written all over it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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