Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
