The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
