And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize