i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
