Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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