marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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