I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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