There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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