Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize