I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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