I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
