apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
