I CAN MOONWALK!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
