i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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