I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
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Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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