All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
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