dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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