google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
